Finetuning…..

I frequently rearrange my furniture, usually when I feel its time to dust of behind my books it seems like the perfect time. I love the newness of this, looking at everything from a new angle. It’s refreshing and puts everything in a new light.

I do this too with my priorities in life.
I find that sticking with the same ideas year in and year out stifles my inspiration and motivation. I take a look at where I am at and then I check with my personal, and spiritual developement and do a bit of rearranging.

It feels like the right thing for me to reevaluate from time to time and, just like with my furniture, get a fresh look at things. During this kind of process I am sometimes amazed at discovering new and exciting ways to combine ideas and perceptions. By creating new connections in my way of seeing my life and myself I finetune old ideas and see new ones arise.

It even acts as a wonderfull way of solving problems and finding solutions and shortcuts through life’s many opportunities that I have somehow stored away with the intent to be processed at a later date.

Sometimes life just needs to be looked at from a different angle in order to come together beautifully.

And sometimes I just need to move stuff around in order to find what I am looking for – right here in front of me.

As time goes by….

So, my dad crossed over yesterday. 90 years, a good long life. Except for the past maybe 8 years, he was a pillar of the community and being the head of the local library he also initiated many cultural events. On some of these he worked closely with my mom and they were both kind and giving people. They gave my siblings and I a wonderfull childhood.

We were there yesterday. And allthough he was on morphine, due to pneumonia, and suffering from alzheimers as he had been for some years, we did our best to create a comfortable and loving atmosphere. So his passing was as easy as it could be.

Before his passing I/we sat with him and read from his favourite author, talked to him about the wonderfull vacations we had as a family when we were children, reminded him of our love for him, and also our mom, who passed on 10 years ago and who he missed very much. I told him what a great father he is, and let him know that we are all good and that it was OK for him to let go when he felt the time was right.

And then later it happened very quickly. It seemed that one moment he was there, lucid, silently sending his goodbyes and I love yous. And then he was gone.

It was the best thing for my dad. And seen in that light we are all relieved. But now that he is gone the stories are also slowly vanishing. The stories my parents knew from 60 years ago when we were children, things they only remembered. They are all gone. And their own stories seen from their view are gone. We have ideas, remnants of what we have been told, but they are secondhand and coloured in that way.

This is life.

The life that is forever changing and renewing itself and when we are gone the stories of the past will take a new turn and be coloured by new perspectives.

We are all these stories. Molded in time and coloured by each and everyone we come in contact with. And that to me is beautifull.

My dads life, and my moms, influenced me and my story in ways I haven’t even discovered yet and I am gratefull for being part of their story which has left a wonderfull, loving and giving mark in the world.

Blessings.